In which I am reminded that I am not normal

[very_improbable]

This post (and hello, by the way, Harry Potter; you're not really my fandom anymore but it's nice to visit sometimes) takes me over to an explanation of the "EWW" theories of Snape motivation from the Harry Potter for Grown-Ups list. Various icky, icky variations of what Voldy might have had in mind for Lily are postulated, beginning with the notion that he was going to offer her to Snape as a reward for good behavior and that this motivated Snape's turn to the Light Side of the Force, and culminating thus:


By far the most grotesque of the Ewwww theories, "So EWWWer It's In the SEWWWer," proposes that Voldemort did indeed briefly contemplate sparing Lily's life so that he could keep her all to himself, but not so that she could bear him an heir, or anything useful like that. Nope. No, he just plain wanted her. [35,015]

This variant requires no further explanation.


In reading this, I am more than a little bemused that any of these theories are considered even moderately weird, and especially that the hypothesis "the big bad villain lusted after the plucky, beautiful young heroine" is relegated to the yucky-poo fringe of out-there theories.

Welcome to Harry Potter fandom. Would you prefer to be seated in the Incest, Bestiality and Pedophilia Section or the Grossed Out by One of the Oldest Fairy-Tale Tropes in Existence Section?

Comments

[trobadora]

HP: Easily the most bizarre fandom ever. I mean, is that for real?!

[cesario.livejournal.com]

Welcome to Harry Potter fandom. Would you prefer to be seated in the Incest, Bestiality and Pedophilia Section or the Grossed Out by One of the Oldest Fairy-Tale Tropes in Existence Section?

*dies*

yes, that's basically my reaction.

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

To be fair, the EWW theories all predate the Incest, Bestiality and Pedophilia, and were put forward by people who weren't into fic, but had a vivid mental image of Voldemort having sex.

[aris-tgd.livejournal.com]

Hahaha.

Haha.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA.

Oh, my word, I just--wow. More reasons to stay away from crazy fans of any stripe. I mean, it's just--well, DUH, those theories seem relatively normal--why so EEEW? Heartbreaking, sure. But EEEW, SNAPE HAS A CRUSH! COOTIES! Oh, fandom.

[very-improbable.livejournal.com]

My reading was that the initial EWWW referred to versions of the "Snape loved Lily" theory being too mushy and sentimental, which is reasonably sensical, but then it loses the "ewww this is too saccharine" angle and acquires its straight-up icky denotation as the theories get more, um, daring.

Oh, fandom.