very_improbable

Please tell me nobody has already written the AU in which Lord Peter Wimsey stands accused of the brutal murder of his apparently happily remarried ex-fiancee Barbara, and his case becomes a cause celebre for lady novelist Harriet Vane, who, not content with the air of notoriety already lent by her cohabitation with Philip Boyes, seems now to have decided to become a crusading newspaper columnist as well and taken it upon herself to solve the most scandalous murder case that high society has seen in decades tch tch well did you ever see such a thing.

Right?

"Well now," Harriet said. "Why do people kill people?"

Philip put his feet up on the table and relaxed into the question, treating it, as he did most questions posed in his presence, as a petition to his superior understanding. "Sex," he pronounced. "Money. Revenge. Perverse ideas of honor. Desperation to escape some fix they think they're stuck in. And of course the old man in the sky." He pretended to consider further for a moment. "But mostly sex."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OH MAN, NO I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS AND NOW YOU SHOULD, LIKE, NOW.

IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN ABOUT TWO THOUSAND WORDS OF THIS AND AM BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT THE PROJECT WOULD BE PRIMARILY IMPEDED BY MY TOTAL INABILITY TO DO MYSTERY PLOTS.

IT IS POSSIBLE THAT NOTHING, NEITHER THE LAWS OF DECENCY NOR CONSIDERATIONS OF PLOT SHOULD IMPEDE YOUR FINISHING THIS STORY.

OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE WRITE THIS. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.

HONESTLY. IF YOU DON'T I WILL.

Oh that is absolutely and utterly BRILLIANT!

Also, I feel able to say with great confidence that although I have read Wimsey/Jeeves, Wimsey written by a pilots' message board, AU in which Harriet is hanged (if you haven't read that one, you must), and no-one has ever written the magnificent story of which you speak. DO IT!!!!

(And you don't need a brilliant mystery, because Harriet wouldn't be able to solve it. A good enough mystery will do!)

Yeah but yeah but no but if it's not that difficult of a mystery why hasn't Peter solved it already?

Because he's in prison, where he cannot access the Vital Clue! He could have some very good ideas to share with HArriet, of course, but he isn't actually out there investigatin' himself.

Please, where can I find Wimsey written by a pilot's message board?

The Case of the Pink War Machine (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=11062). To spare you the whole thing, Wimsey arrives on page 7.

Oh my. Thank you. I think?

Because HE DID IT of course! Guilty as charged! But for morally impeccable reasons which unfortunately cannot be disclosed to an undiscerning world.

Or because he was COVERING UP for someone.

Or because being banged up in gaol doesn't give one much opportunity to go around sleuthing, and the first thing he knew about it was when the Plod turned up on his doorstep fresh from the scene with a warrant for his arrest.

Of course, this doesn't explain why Bunter hasn't solved it already, but perhaps his lack of social clout was an obstacle?

Um, may I join the queue of people begging you to write this? The fragment with the loathly Boyes is simply brilliant.

Of course, this doesn't explain why Bunter hasn't solved it already, but perhaps his lack of social clout was an obstacle?

Or he was lured off-scene by an accident suddenly befalling one of his siblings...?

2,000 words already? Good show! *brews tea and plumps cushions on favorite reading sofa in anticipation*

Or he and Harriet are investigating independently and eventually team up. Very useful for solving all those little plot problems to have someone suddenly show up with a whole load of fresh infomration.

Wait! Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing in my WiP? Do you realize that none of those words have any plot in them?

Oh god I've created a monster.

You know, I was actually considering HE DID IT earlier today and I realized that further down that path was an AU more fucked up than the one where Harriet gets hanged, and I had to go look at some LOLcats for a while.

But anyway I think some of the difficulty can be addressed via the physical removal of one or more witnesses or other persons of interest from the country. Obstacles are a lot easier to construct when nobody has a cell phone or the internet.

There's no way I can live up to all this now

Sure you can:-)

I realized that further down that path was an AU more fucked up than the one where Harriet gets hanged, and I had to go look at some LOLcats for a while.

That sounds very promising indeed. I like fucked-up. Mind you, I like LOLcats too, so whatever path you strike down will be fine by me.

I think some of the difficulty can be addressed via the physical removal of one or more witnesses or other persons of interest from the country

Oh, hooray! And I know what you mean about the difficulties of plot - I have two scenes of a Wimsey crossover languishing on my hard drive because the business of what clue gets found when and how to tie it all together is so damnably difficult that I can't be arsed.

the physical removal of one or more witnesses or other persons of interest from the country

Seems fair. After all, the canon Strong Poison would not have happened as it did had Peter been around to be present at an early interview with Harriet and clear up all the misunderstandings.

PS Have added you to my flist in hopes of reading more of this v. soon. No pressure or anything...

bronze_ribbons pointed over here and I just wanted to throw in my own two cents of encouragement, as this sounds utterly delightful.

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The world needs more Wimsey AU

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There's no way I can live up to all this now

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